Luke's Day Out

We enrolled Luke in a Kids Day Out program to give him a social life and give me a few precious hours to get stuff done or just chill out with my favorite baby girl. It sounded great in theory.

As the day got closer, I began sobbing, a lot. I don't know what I thought was going to happen to him, but it must have been horrible judging by my convulsive hysterical sobbing. I used to cherish those days when Luke would go to Miss Angel's and I would have an entire day to myself. Now the thought of not having him with me was heartbreaking! But I was assured by many that it would be "fine".

"Fine". What exactly defines "fine"? Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure it was no where in the vicinity of the church where I dropped him off.

It started off "fine". He is completely fascinated with the stained glass. When he saw it again he looked at me like I was the best mom in the world for bringing him to see it! He even tried to break in to the sanctuary to get a better look.
And then we found his room. And one of his teachers is an old classmate of Alex's! Small world. I did feel a bit better about leaving him with someone who knew Alex. Alex doesn't have many sociopaths for acquaintances, so I assumed she was trustworthy with my only sweet son.

Again, things were "fine" in the room. He liked all the toys, especially the slide. But that's when "fine" exited the building. Another boys parents did the "give mommy and daddy a hug, we're going bye-bye" and the boy started crying. This proved quite worrisome to Luke. As evident by this look.


Followed by "Why crying?" and a look of panic. So I kissed him on the head and bolted for the door, leaving him crying a top the slide. Surely, losing my "best mom in the world" status. Much to my surprise, I didn't cry. I was bit misty eyed as I heard his blood curdling scream as I exited the church, but I felt a sense of peace- that he would be "fine".

"Fine" he was not. When I went to pick him up he was snuggled up in his teachers lap (yeah, you read that right. Snuggled! in someone's lap! Luke!!! My non-snuggler) That was clue number 1 that things had not been great. Clue number 2? The change of clothes. It seems Luke was so upset he made himself vomit-on Alex's friend. This is the part where it may have been better not to have known this very nice woman. I mean, what do you say? I believe what I said was "Oh, he usually reserves that for hair cuts". So KDO ranks right up there with the trauma of hair cutting. J.O.Y.

So the self pride I felt in not crying when I dropped him off, quickly vanished after picking him up. He looked so pathetic that I sat in the parking lot sobbing for a good 15 minutes before feeling emotionally ready to drive us home safely. I felt like I tortured my sweet boy for 3 hours. And why? Because I wanted him to have fun. That worked out well. So now I am even more anxious about doing it again this week. I KNOW I need to send him back and eventually, he will be "fine" and enjoy being there. But how long will it take?

Wish us luck this week!